Your Relationship is Your Business- Make it Independent

We went to Italy on a family trip. Since the plan was to visit Vatican on the very first day, we took a three-room accommodation under B and B arrangement. It was just 15 minutes’ walk to Vatican and we were really happy to stay there. Manager explained everything to us and then he walked away. He was just a call away and promised to come immediately if we needed him. Good enough, so we thought.

 

There were lot of gadgets in the kitchen. Microwave oven, Mixer, and toaster all dependent on single socket. Each one had long connected wire, all intermingled. Manager told us that right now,it is connected with the oven to do the job and we could switch over by changing the plug as per our requirement.

 

 

 

Very first day, morning breakfast was being prepared. We tried to ‘ON” the microwave oven but it was not to be done. Since we were rushing against time, we came into panic and tried to check the plug and socket for the correct connection. It did not work out. We called out the manager. He came rushing, checked it and told that it was not the right plug, he took another plug but it connected with the mixer, third switch over and we could connect the microwave oven. We lost almost 20 minutes in the entire exercise because of the wrong plug and the presumption that plug or the socket was not working. The point was that we were trying to put the wrong plug into the socket. The connecting wires were so long and intermingled that it was not possible to find out the exact alignment in the first glance, more so when they were of the same design.

 

We’re not we supposed to check when Manager briefed us that microwave oven is connected with socket now?

Let us take this analogy to our relationships in personal space and official space. Each kitchen gadget is supposed to connect independently to socket, because each is having own plug. What mistakes do we do generally? We depend on others to develop our relationship. Either we are complacent or lack confidence to own and develop our relationship. In family set us, kids depend on mother to develop relationship with father or vice versa. Mothers are reliable partners in our cultural context but as we grow up, move distances, change of context or understanding is there, one has to develop own wavelength with each family member to bring the wholesomeness of relationship. It relieves the stress on one member of family to own and nurture the relationship. It does not mean that relationship between two members of family has to be exclusive only but it can be part of that wholesomeness of family, rather it will strengthen the family bonds.

 

What about office relationship? So many of us depend upon third party to nurture our relationship and understanding with our manager. Why? Even in hierarchical organisations, we should find the way to establish a positive relationship. It is not required to be at the cost of your manager at all. In case of flat organisations, it is approved arrangement in any case.

 

So, each gadget must have own plug with distinct connection and if possible, with independent socket. Do not have long connecting wires which are intermingled and if possible, in different colours.

 

Your relationship is your own responsibility, maintain it, nurture it and enjoy it.

 

@lifeisgood @allthingsbrightandbeutiful