Ghost Busters

‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself’ - Franklin D. Roosevelt

In school in class 7, (around 13 year’s age) we had a window in the back yard of the school- an old rickety wooden rear window which we were told not to open ever, as there was a ghost out there. No one, our seniors or the juniors ever had the guts to open it. It was a forbidden piece well cemented in the brick wall. The maids, the school Gardener (Mali baba as he was called) and Peons were the strongest proponents of this – story.

Mali baba himself had long unkempt salt pepper hair with a scary stubble and had brownish yellow Tobacco stained teeth and two of them of gold- enough to scare the hell out of any one, especially at night or after sunset when we had prep classes.

Some of our class fellows were that dare devil types and even those ‘bullies by birth’ also never ever dared to do it- open that window!



Who had seen the ghost? This question was always responded by ‘We don’t know but someone saw it when I was a boy your age’ was the response of Mali baba who himself looked like a ghost who walks’. To spice it up he would get us all along in a group under a big banyan tree, may be 80 year old in one corner of the school garden with roots hanging down to the ground and the setting was right to scare the wind out of us all- girls used to be scared and so were we, trying to put up a brave face. He was a great story teller and with very funny facial expressions and almost in a whisper he would let out some ‘secrets’- every time it was a different one- and we idiots believed every story as if enjoying it. A repeat was also welcome.

He used to say that long long time ago a girl called ‘chandani’ had failed in the exam and had committed suicide by hanging with a rope tied to that tree, the old man would point at a branch also- though different one every time! And all of us would gleefully say ‘Yes, yes, yes’. Police also investigated the murder angle but mali baba used to say that, that may have been the reason for all this. It was enough to convince us as well as the parents who often complained to the principal, who always assured them that this was rumor mongering and a grape wine gossip and none of this was true. But you know ‘daar ka kida’ cannot be taken out of your head easily. In fact this had become a problem for the school that some parents didn’t take admission for their children because of this. Even evening extra classes had taken a hit.

The best part is that no one had ever seen this fictitious ghost or ghostani (witch).

‘Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win’ - Stephen King

Bhoot Ayaa- Bhoot Ayaa syndrome

No wonder so many horror movies are made and do pretty well on the box office. Holly wood has contributed enough to this ‘made up fear’ with movies as scary as, exorcist, Hereditary and conjuring. Bollywood greats like wo kaun thee, Bhool Bhullayia or Raaz also scared the hell out of people. Whatever you may say these leave some kind of fear in minds of people, though they know it is not true. But maybe, you never know kind of lurking doubt always remains in your mind ‘Dimaag ka Kida’.

You would be surprised that even Field Marshal S.H.F. J Manekshaw Victoria Cross awarded for outstanding bravery in war was also scared of such things and I quote ‘I am not a brave man. I am frightened of ghosts and spirits and so on. If my wife tells me a ghost story after dinner, I cannot sleep in my room, and I have to go to her room.’ As reported in his lecture.

Alfred Hitch Cock and some Indian Directors like Ramsay brothers had mastered this art of scaring people.

Now a new breed- A Democratic Bhoot

A year back I got a call from a senior journalist a lady who was writing a piece for a newspaper and wanted to take my response which was a quick bite. She was doing a piece or was tasked to do a piece on why people are scared in India under the current administration. This I realized much later.

Her question to me was ‘What do you think about the environment?’ I said ‘yes there is climate change across the world’. “No, no, no I want to know about India’. I said ‘We are impacted too, unexpected rains, cyclones, floods etc.‘ ‘No I am talking about the “other” environment.’ I was a little confused so I said I feel till now there has been more rains but it is manageable’.

She seemed to be getting frustrated, I didn’t know why. ‘No I mean are you feeling safe or you have any fear?’ ‘What fear, I asked? I am fine, what do you mean?’ ‘No I am a reporter and I feel everyone is scared today in India’. I was beginning to get where she was coming from and had to ask her ‘ma’am are you scared for your life in India?’ She said ‘Not really’.

‘See you are not scared I am not scared then who is scared?’ I said respectfully. ‘No but everyone is scared-I know it’ she replied curtly as if rapping me on my knuckles. Now she was a bit hyper as she was not getting a response she possibly wanted from me. I didn’t want to be rude, so I chuckled and cut the line. Felt sorry for her, I had killed her day!

After cutting the call I realized she really wanted a juicy spicy bite from me. I thought what was her issue? “Malls are full, airlines are packed, roads are choked with cars and two-wheelers, buses and trains are full, and then where is the ghost yaar”

‘Today everybody is scared in India’ is the biggest bogey of the decade. ‘Oh you know everyone is feeling unsafe’. If you want to make sure you want a property price to fall, and never sell, you want the owner to be scr*wed ;you start a rumor of a haunted house and the owner can keep defending that bogey but nothing works, he is doomed to be doomed. Woh to gaya bhai- finished!

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.” - Joseph Goebbels
Today suddenly so many ‘Mali Babas’ have come out of that Banyan tree- god knows in all different bhootiya avatars. They are not gardeners- they could be from any profession, respected suited booted, journalists, TV anchors, senior retired police officers, Armed forces veterans, actors, film directors, educationists, retired bureaucrats, producers, students and even music directors ready to give background score.

Ganged up Left and politicians ready to give covering fire and create a smoke screen to make it look real. They sing in chorus as we watch in movies, cannibals dancing around their prey- a live man. As they say in Hindi ‘Weham ka koiyee ilaaj nahi hai’ very difficult to take a superstitious bug out of even a sane mind provided you can plant one. Monsters are creating ghosts today.

Authors have earned millions by writing Fantasy. You can manipulate human mind if you try hard enough.
Which to same extent has been done- with some success.

The saving grace is that Indians are used to these ‘Vikram Betal’ stories and don’t buy the synthetic ones crafted by the crafty ones- ‘Bharat ke bande saab samajhtey hain’ Keep trying you will not succeed –ever.

Monsters will always exist. There's one inside each of us. But an angel lives there, too. There is no more important agenda than figuring out how to slay one and nurture the other. - Jacqueline Novogratz